Duo in:Gundam Wonderland!
by Saemus McNally
Summary: Alice in Wonderland. DUO STYLE! Obviously OOC and AU. Curiouser and Curiouser.
1. Default Chapter

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland  
  
Okay I've been working on this for a long time as a comic book, but I figured why not write it down as a story as well!? So, here goes the disclaimer. Characters are wildly, I mean WILDLY, OOC, some of them are incredibly yaoi and some are quite yuri O_O. This story comes from my inCREDIBLY obsession with Alice in wonderland. So, here goes.  
Duo: 'Bout time you quite blabbering.  
  


Duo was resting on top of Deathscythe. Deathscythe decided to take a day off and who is Duo to go against what his partner says? The day was quite hot, and extremely lazy. He took one of his hair ties and broke it so he could play cats cradle. But after about an hour of that he grew tired. He glanced down at the ground and saw something curious.  
It was Quatre running along the ground shouting to himself, "KYAAA I'M LAAATE!!!". Quatre usually isn't such a curious sight, if you count out the fact that he's a _blonde_ Arab. But this time Quatre REALLY caught Duo's attention. Mainly for the fact that Quatre had long white bunny ears and a fluffy bunny tail poking out from a green and brown plaid waist coat, with little white running shorts and tennis shoes. Now, there was one thing Duo knew Quatre wasn't. And a bunny it was not.   
Duo slid down the elevator pole to the ground. He decided to run after Quatre and see what was the deal with the costume. Maybe Quatre was into cosplay? Not likely, didn't seem like his cup of tea.  
Duo chased Quatre, who had not looked back to see the Shinigami chasing him. Chased him right down a hole in the ground. Of course, Duo didn't SEE the whole in the ground. Considering that when Quatre jumped down it, it was a normal rabbit sized hole. When Duo made it to the hole, it expanded to about fifteen yards across at the radius.   
Shinigami screamed as he plummeted down the abyss, and flailed his arms and legs as if they could help him in his decent. As he fell down the enormous gape in the earth he glanced at the walls of the hole. The walls were lined with jugs of ice cream. Duo figured since he was sure to die anyway, he'd grab a few jugs and have his last meal. He scooped the ice cream out with his hands completely forgetting that he was falling.  
Oh, but did he remember when he hit the ground with a THUDWHAMKABLAM! His ice cream went skittering across the floor. Duo grabbed his head and groaned. Sitting up he rubbed his head and his bottom. But something wasn't right. Both his head and his bottom had a weird silk feeling on them. He looked down. And then he screamed.  
Duo's all to favorite priest like clothes were GONE! He'd rather be naked then what he saw he was wearing. He had on a blue dress with a frilly apron over it. Panty hose of striped white and blue. Black little girl slippers with a strap and buckle. A blue bow in his hair. And petticoats to make sure that his dress flounced out to a nice bell shape.  
What the HELL happened to my clothes!? the boy thought. This was horrible. He was sure that if Heero or Wufei saw him they'd gut him just for being an embarrassment. He tugged at his braid as he was known to do when he was nervous and scared. His hand trailed down the braid until it came to another horrifying piece of silk. There was another bow tied prettily at the end of his braid. To match the one at the top of his head. This was a sick joke and so, Duo always the rebel, chose to sit and pout.  
As he pouted he looked at his surroundings. He was in a dark corner of a long hall with doors on each side. He saw that Quatre was still running down the hall. So Duo hopped to his feet and chased after him. He was surprised at how easy he could move in the dress, considering he'd never wore one before, except in that one Scotch and coke induced dream.  
Quatre whipped around a corner, Duo not far behind him, but when Duo turned the corner Quatre was gone. Duo was now in a cul de sac type hall. Doors covering the walls on all sides. Doors of all shapes and styles. He tried to open all the doors, set on the fact that Quatre went through one of these doors. All of them were locked though. Maxwell let out a curse as he looked around the room once again. The way he came in disappeared and was replaced with a new wall covered with a curtain.   
He pulled the curtain to the side and there very small on the ground was a tiny door. The door came up to maybe his ankle. He knew he wouldn't be able to fit through the door no matter how thin he squeezed. He looked back into the room and saw a thin glass table. "SHPADOINKLE!" the beautiful one shouted as he noticed a key on the table. He picked it up and opened up the little door. He looked through the door and saw that it led into a passage, that led into a beautiful garden. Duo secretly was a floral fan. When the other fly boys weren't looking he'd always stop and pick up a dandelion and swoon over it. This garden really tickled Duo's fancy and so he pouted again not being able to fit through the door.   
He looked back at the table, which had already solved a problem for him, and was giddy when he saw that there was a bottle of Coke on it. The bottle had a little tagged tied to it that read "DRINK ME". Like Duo needed to be told. He popped open the top and chugged at it. His body tingled. He put down the bottle. Then suddenly PWIP! He was about ten inches high. "Holy jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick!" he cried. "How in the Hell did that happen!?" His questions were tossed aside as he realized he could now fit in through the door. He skipped over to the door, and faulted. He forgot the key on top of the table!  
Duo turned around and tried to climb up the table. He couldn't make it because he kept sliding down the table. He sat down, crossing his arms and pouted. Looking around the bottom of the table he noticed a hamburger lying on a tray on the ground. The tray had a little peice of paper folded into a triangle with "Eat Me" written on it. He picked up the burger and thought, "Well, if it makes me grow larger, then I'll be able to reach the key on top of the table. If it makes me shrink I'll be able to crawl under the door. Either way I'm gonna get into that garden. YES! Brilliant you are Maxwell, BRILLIANT!!"   
Biting into the burger, he put one hand over his head to see if he was growing at all. Nothing happened. "Well FINE! I'll eat the whole thing G'dammit!" and that he did. When he had finished the burger he realized that his head was poking into the ceiling. "Oh well, god DAMMIT!"   
  
~~~  
Next Chapter: The Pool of Tears  
Duo:Hold on wait a minute. Does that mean I'm gonna cry!?  
There's nothing wrong with showing emotions.  
Duo:But there is if you're a GUY!  
You sound like Wufei.  
Duo:Owch....  
REVIEW MEEEEEEE~!!!!!!! Please?


	2. The Pool of Tears

Duo in:Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 2: Pool of Tears  
  
Whee! this is fun isnt it? Okay, Quatre fans, *bows head* I am so sorry what I'm doing to Quatre. I just figured...you know...rabbits....reproducing...  
Duo:Why don't you just let them read what you did to Quatre.  
Quatre: HEY! What DID you do to me!?  
I'm scared....just read it while I go hide....  
  


Duo's head was ramming into the ceiling. He had to shif this body as his shoulders were poking at the top of the wall and his legs were bent so that his feet were pressed against the opposite wall. Suprisingly enough he didn't knock the glass table over with his dress. He looked down at the room. He was very upset. He couldn't walk out of the room since the hall was gone. And he couldn't get into the pretty garden because he was WAY to huge to fit even a finger through the door.  
He felt his chest heaving up and down rapidly. He knew what was happening. The wetness trickled down his cheeks. Dropping off from his chin they hit the ground with a splash. He was crying. He tried to stop. With the whole idea that 'Boys dont cry'. But who cared? Not like Wufei was going to pop out of no where and hit him. So cry he did. A pool was gathering below him.  
Then Duo heard the pitter of little feet running towards him. He nearly screamed thinking it was Wufei. Looking down it turned out to just be Quatre-bunny. "Quatre!" the giant crossdressed boy called. This scared Quatre-bunny. He screamed and dropped the pair of gloves he was carrying. Looking up the bunny saw that the giant was a beautiful boy in a dress. He crawled under the knee of Duo and look at the vertex. He gasped with joy. "ITS HUGE!" Duo's face flushed. He had a pretty good idea what Quatre meant by that. But before he could do anything the rabbit ran right up under the petticoats and gave his 'deathscythe' a hug!  
Duo's breath caught in his throat as he let out a high pitched squeal of fright. He flailed his arms as best he could being so cramped into the room and pried the bunny off of his member. Holding Quatre-bunny by the back of his jacket he shouted at it. "Aren't you late for something!?! And don't touch me there!! Horny Rabbit!!!"  
This really frightened Quatre-bunny. Enough to send the bunny running off to where ever he had come from previously. Duo was upset even further. Still letting tears crawl down his cheeks. Easily distracted as ever, Duo picked up the gloves Quatre-bunny had dropped. He sorta fiddled with them as he fliped them through his fingers. His mind wandered. "Well, I'd never seen Quatre act like that. Oh but what if that's how he is secretly. I wonder if when Trowa visited him in his huuuuuuuuuuge house that really instead of playing flute and violin together, Quatre tied him down and put on a dom mask. Trowa would so take it that way too." Duo started giggling his head off, but stopped as he realized he wasn't cramped in the room anymore but now was almost no bigger than the bottle of coke he had drank from earlier.  
KERSPLASH he went as he fell into the pool of tears. He let go of the gloves figuring they were the problem with the shrinking. He swam his way to the surface of the pool gasping for air. It's incredibly hard to swim in a dress with petticoats. Also given the fact Duo swam like a horse. He CAN swim. Not as graceful as a certain Perfect Soldier...who happened to do EVERYTHING perfect,save killing himself. Duo began to pout about Heero when he saw something, oh, shall we say, ODD!!!!  
He saw Sally Po. With mouse ears and scuba gear on. Swimming away. Fast like a dolphin, as her mouse tail flipped around in the water. She glanced a look at Duo. Then swam to him. "You look a little frightened, boy. You need help getting to shore?" "YES, PLEASE!!!" Sally put one of her muscular arms around Duo's waist, pulling him in close. Duo's face flushed as he accidentally rubbed one of his hands across Sally's breasts. Sally, not always the lover of getting fondled, dunked Duo's head under water for a good while to make him know, NEVER DO THAT! She had Duo sit on top of her air tank as he wrapped his arms around her neck, not so tight as to choke her. He feared her wrath. When they were settled and ready to go, go they went. Sally shot through the water like a bat out of hell. The water sprayed into Duo's face like bullets.   
When they made it to land Sally came to such an abrupt stop that Duo flew over her head and slammed into a Dodo bird who had also been soaked. The bird was sent onto her ass with Duo placed right on top of her. Both of them groaning they looked at each other. "HILDE-CHAN!?" Duo screached as a fist met him right in the mouth. Duo flew off the girl landing on his ass. Moaning from the pain he quickly regained his composure as he stood up. Hilde-dodo was up and brushing herself off. Her tailed black coat was soaked with salt water as well as her corset and pleated skirt. She looked around and realized she'd forgotten something. She pulled out a pair of glasses from her coat pocket and put them on.   
They were horrible. The glass was two inches thick each, and had a big plastic red frame with duct tape in the middle. As she turned back to look at Duo her eyes were magnified twicefold and looked like two huge big black splotches of paint. Duo did his best not to crack up at the sight. He really didnt have a chance to giggle at this at all really.  
Soon he was surrounded by birds and sea creatures who looked like Oz soldiers really, Sally-mouse and Hilde-dodo. Normally, this was a bad situation for Duo, but all of them were drenched and looking miserable. He opted to question Sally-mouse why she had scuba gear on.  
"Well its a long tale really, but I am not objected to telling it."  
~~~~~~~~  
Next Chapter: The Caucaus Race and the Long Tale  
Quatre:Why the hell were you thinking about me that way Duo!?  
Duo:Well its not like everyone else doesn't wonder that Quatre!  
Quatre:But I'm a GOOD BOY! REALLY!  
Duo:...sure...  
PLEEEASE REVIEW ME!!! I love it...i really do...


	3. The Caucaus Race and the Long Tale

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland!  
Chapter 3: The Caucaus Race and the Long Tale  
  
Oh this is silly isn't it? At the very least I hope I turn more people onto Alice...its a great story really.  
Duo:You sound like an infomercial.  
Shut up you. Or I'll write you into a mouth of an alligator.  
Duo:No you wont!  
...I know...  
  


All the characters on the shore gathered around Sally-mouse as she stood gracefully in the middle of the gathering. Once they had quieted down she began, very formally and quite dignified.  
"AHEM!" Sally cleared her throat and began,"It all started really when I was about thirteen. I noticed I had a taste for Asian teenagers. My sister had brought home one of her friends. A cute chinese girl named Xiang Fei. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was absolutely beautiful. She was spending the night that night and I watched her sleep. So then, as she slept, I reached my hand over to touch her on her soft tiny boso-" "Eh. Excuse me Miss Mouse but what exactly is the purpose of this story? We're all just sitting here cold and wet. We'd really much rather dry off than hear about you sexual experiences with Asian girls and boys" piped in the Oz soldier who looked like a Lory.  
"Well! Then YOU think of something. I find it to be a beautiful story....my coming of age." Duo thought to himself, 'Thats not all that came...heh'.  
"Well, if its drying off we'd like to acheive why not try a Caucaus race?" Hilde-dodo brilliantly said.  
"'scuse me Hilde-chan, but whats a Caucaus race?" Duo questioned politely.  
"Well sir, the best way to describe a Caucaus race....is to do it!"  
And so this is how it was done. They all lined up after Hilde-dodo had drawn a circular path along the sand. Then she cried out "GO!" and they ran around the track. Every now and then the ground would explode up from under them and send the runner flying into the air, then plummeting back down to the ground. Duo stepped on these land mines three times. Each time he fell down towards the ground his puffy white bloomers would show. He tried to pull the dress down over his little happy area, but it really didn't matter considering he was on the ground within seconds.  
After a while Hilde-dodo shouted out "AND THE RACE IS OVER!" everyone crowded around her. "Who won? Who won?!" She thought about it for a while scratching the back of her head, then blurted out. "EVERYONE! We all won! Cause we're just THAT cool!"  
The crowd then harassed her with another question"But where are the prizes? Who's giving out prizes!?!" Paniaced she pointed at Duo"HE IS! He has the prizes!!"  
Duo was shocked and pointed to his nose. "Me?" The crowd gathered round him screaming for prizes, grabbing at him and his pretty dress. He slapped hands away and yelled "OKAY HOLD ON! " he dug around in the pockets of his apron.  
Suprisingly, he pulled out a box filled with Skittles. Some how the water hadn't gotten into them. Duo handed each of the runners a handful of Skittles. Leaving nothing left for Duo.  
"HEY! Duo-chan didn't get anything! Hilde-dodo! Do something!" shouted Sally-mouse. Hilde-dodo's feathers ruffled and then she dug into her pocket. Pulling out a condom she handed it do Duo. "There no everyone has a prize."  
Duo just stood there. Condom in his hand. Speechless. Mouth hanging open from shock. Sally saw Duo was incapable of doing anything at the moment. So she took his hand putting the condom into one of his apron's pocket. Then softly she mentioned to the crowd. "I think now would be a grand time for a Haiku!"  
With that the entire crowd ran off as fast as they could. Duo was still standing there with his mouth ajar. Sally-mouse shrugged her shoulders and dove back into the water and swam away.  
Duo heard something from the bushes behind him and turned around. Afraid it was Hilde-dodo coming back to horrify him with more sexual tools. It wasn't.  
  
~~~~~  
Wasn't that fun!? and Silly!?  
Duo:Okay I know for damn sure I don't get that out of it over a condom!  
Quatre;*Dumps a box of trojans into Duo's lap*  
Duo:IYAAA!! *blush*  
...Duo...you're a horrible liar...REVIEW MEEE!!!! PLEEEASE!


	4. Th Rabbit Sends in Little Bill

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 4:The Rabbit Sends in Little Bill  
  
Waah! I couldn't remember a single one of the Maganacs names...So I'll...just call him bill. You can pick whichever one you want to be Little Bill. Umn, how're you liking this so far? I know its not following the Disney storyline at all but thats cause I'm following the book. *hang head* I'm afraid this isnt the most interesting chapter in the book, but I'll try my best to make it as zany as I can *grin*  
Quatre: You're so pathetic.  
*cries*  
  


The noise from the bushes wasn't Hilde-dodo. It was QUATRE-BUNNY! Duo couldn't decide wether to run away or jump on Quatre and beat him for the scandalous act he had performed earlier. Duo really didn't get a choice on this though. Since he was attacked by Quatre-bunny before he knew it.  
Quatre-bunny leaped onto Duo, tugging at his skirt so it could come up, while Duo tugged down on it so it would stay down. Finally, Duo fell over from the weight of the rabbit and onto his back. Quatre was wailing, "OOOH MARY-ANN OHH YOU'RE SO SEXY!!" Duo was screaming in his defense, "I'M NOT MARY-ANN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW A MARY-ANN! GET OFF ME!!"  
Quatre-bunny responded by nuzzling Duo's chest. Duo could no longer handle this he grabbed Quatre by the upper arms, put his knees into his chest and flipped the rabbit over his head. The he got up. Fixed his dress. Then ran as fast as his legs would take him. He was terrified. He didn't wanna be touched that way. Not by Quatre. Not THIS Quatre anyway.  
Duo ran until he came to a house. On the mail box it said "Q.W.Rabbit". Duo wasn't really into being a genius at the moment and ran up the pathway and into the house. He looked out a window and saw Quatre-bunny looking around the surrounding area for pretty little Duo. He was sure he'd be safe in the house for a while.  
Looking around in the house,Duo is as curious as a cat, he wandered from room to room. The house was nicely furnished. A mid 1800's european style. He looked into one of the closets in the master bedroom. Horrified he shut the door as soon as fast as possible. "I....I can't believe people actually let other people put that on their.....their...."and he shuddered and left that room as quickly as he could.   
In another room he found a tray of cookies sitting next to cups of orange juice. Duo was getting thirsty after that run. So he picked it up, completely forgetting what happened last time he drank something in this world, and drank it all down.  
Within seconds Duo's head smashed into the ceiling and his legs were sent sprawling out through the doorway and into a closet, making him have to bring that leg up bent. One of his arms flew out the window and the other one lied at his side. "God dammit! It happened again!...Oh no...If the rabbit comes in here then he'll...try to....OH GOD!" Duo was paniacing. He looked around for some help, but found nothing.  
Then he heard a scream. Quatre-bunny was screaming outside the house. Not the scream of joy like he had when Duo first grew. It was a scream of fright.   
"OH MY GOD!!! THERE'S A GIANT ARM HANGING FROM MY BEDROOM!!!" Duo thought to himself,' wait a minute, this is _his_ house!? dammit!!!' Quatre went on screaming and crying. "MAGANAAAAC!!!! HELP MEEEE!!! IM SCAAARED! HOLD MEEEE!! UWAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"  
'Maganac?' Duo wondered. Then he heard another voice outside. He moved a mirror inside the house so he could see who was out there.  
One of Quatre's Maganacs was standing next to him with a chimeny sweep broom and a pair of black overalls and boots. He was completely covered in soot. He was talking to Quatre-bunny who would have clung to him if he didn't want to get dirt all over his clothes.  
"I'm sorry sir but i'm just a chimney sweep! I dunno how to take care o' monsters in ye house. Howevah I suppose ye could set ye house on fire. It'd get rid a ya monsta roight quick!" Bill chimed. "NO FUCKING WAY!" Duo shouted "I SWEAR IF I GET OUT OF HERE I'LL SMISH YOU BOTH UNDER THIS SLIPPER!" and he wiggled his foot as a threat.  
Bill and Quatre were silenced. Duo was wondering what was going on. Then he was answered when a rock smacked him in the cheek. "OW! What the hell!? OW OW!!" Two more rocks hit him in the head. Bill and Quatre were trying to beat the monster to death by stoning.  
"OW! Okay, that's OW! quite enough! OW! God dammit! OW OW OW!!" Duo reached his free arm down and started smashing his fist around the area where Quatre and Bill were. He brought his fist down upon a carrot.   
Thinking, he remembered the effects of food in this land. 'Okay...maybe if I eat this carrot...I'll shrink. Then they won't throw rocks at my head anymore' So he brought the carrot up and ate it whole.  
PWIP! Duo shrunk all right. Except, now he was only three inches high! The rocks however were still flying through the window. Duo ran as fast as he could away from the range the rocks were in so as not to get smashed.   
He made his way through the house and out the back door. "PHEW! That was scary. I wonder if after all of this is done I'll be able to smash Quatre with a rock. See how HE likes it. Bastard." And Duo marched off into the yard.  
He had to keep looking up so he could know where he was headed. Everything was huge. Then he heard a horrible noise. "BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!!"  
There was a god damn puppy in the yard. Duo was about to be eaten. Quickly, Duo found a plan in his head. He picked up a twig on the ground and threw it. The stupid dog ran right after it. Which left Duo the perfect chance to run in the other direction and right into a mushroom patch.  
These were funny mushrooms. They all had some form of Asian writing on them. One looked like the Chinese symbol for five. Another looked like the Chinese symbol for dragon. Of course, Duo wasn't too good at understanding Chinese. He was better at Japanese.  
Finally, Duo came upon a very wide open mushroom. He smelt some incense smoke and some smoke he didn't like too much. He looked around the mushroom. He didn't see anyone. Then he looked up on top of the mushroom.  
A funny looking caped man sat there. He had his head tilted down and a hat on. One of thos triangular straw hats. He was peacefully smoking from a hookah. He tilted his head up to look Duo in the eye. Duo still couldn't see the face since it was shrouded in shadow.   
But the eyes. The man's eyes glowed and held Duo in an entranced stare. As he opened his mouth, blue purple smoke flowed from it as he uttered on horribly frightening phrase. "You are unjust. So you shall die."  
  
~~~~~ Next Chapter*i forgot to do this last time*Advice from the Caterpillar  
YEEE!! KOWAI CATERPILLAR!  
Duo:oh as if its a big suprise who its going to be!  
Quatre:Will it be Heero? His eyes glow.  
Duo:oh yeah...thats true... but we all know its going to be *WHAM!*  
:holds frying pan: You should learn to shut up Duo...  
Next chapter is lots of fun! Read on and reeeevieeewwww pleeeassseee..


	5. Advice from a Caterpillar

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 5: Advice from a Caterpillar  
  
WHEE! ACTION SEQUENCE! Okay, up till now I've been following the story almost exactly saving a few things here and there. Well this chapter I stray from the story to make it fun and interesting. Lemme just say the caterpillar is badass.  
Duo:oh sure make HIM a badass, I thought I was your favorite!!!  
YOU'RE THE MAIN CHARACTER!  
Duo:....shut up....  
  


Those words sent chills down Duo's spine as he knew something was NOT right. "You are unjust, so you shall die". Horrible omen. Quickly affirmed as the man leaped from his robe and hat faster than Duo could see. Duo whipped his body around. "Something is NOT right!" He said as he scanned around for the man.  
Behind him a figure leaped up from behind the mushroom. He was dressed in chinese robes, a big black shirt with a green dragon on the front, long white sleeves with blue at the bottom, transparent silk ruffling out from the inside of the sleeves, a green belt with tails hanging at his side, white pants that stopped above his ankles exposing dark blue Chinese slippers with white butterflies on them. He carried a long thing double edged sword in his left hand.  
Duo sensend his precense and turned around just in time to miss one of those slippered foots gliding past his head from a kick. Duo then tucked in his chest as a fist flew by his front. He couldn't keep his balance as he tripped over a small mushroom. With a thud he landed on the ground.  
Frightened with all of his soul, Duo glanced up. His eyes focused on the sword that was two inches from his forhead. This time the man shouted his phrase once again.  
"_YOU ARE UNJUST!! SO YOU SHALL DIE!!!_"  
Duo looked up past the sword quickly and scanned for a face. He recognized this face VERY well. One doesn't forget Chang Wufei. Except this time Wufei had little CUTE antennae and pointy ears like an elf.  
Knowing Wufei, he didn't expect Wufei to give himself much of a chance to sit there and stare at him. So, he lifted his right leg to the sword and kicked it up over his head as he rolled to the side avoiding a kick to the face. On all fours now Duo leaped up backwards, rolling under the mushroom. He pulled himself into a crouching position as Wufei turned round furious. Wufei did a sliding kick under the mushroom, where Duo grabbed Wufei by the leg and swung him around to hit the mushroom's stem.  
The caterpillar let out a groan, then taking his other leg booted Duo in the chest. Duo fell back clutching his chest as he got up from under the mushroom. Leaping onto it Duo waited for Wufei to emerge. Then was kicked in the back as Wufei seemingly came from now where, now with his sword in his hand.  
Bringing the sword down, he missed Duo's dress by mere centimeters and lodging it firmly in the mushroom. Duo leaped up and tackled Wufei sending the two of them falling off the mushroom. Wufei managed to flip Duo around and landed on top of him.  
Wufei pinned Duo's arms to the ground as the Shinigami wriggled and struggled beneath the weight of the Chinese boy. Duo attempted to kick Wufei in the crotch, but was stopped as Wufei's right hand intercepted the leg. However, this made Wufei miss Duo's hand slamming into his cheek.  
A hard enough punch to send Chang flying. Duo got up and made his way over to where Wufei was now standing up. He didn't get far though. He made about three quick steps then fell face down into the earth.  
He tripped over a tree root. He scraped his elbow on the ground and it was now scratched and red. Duo sat down on his butt, pouted and began to cry.  
Wufei was stunned. He just stared at Duo who was now bawling like a little girl. "He...hey ....don't cry....I wasn't really going to kill you...."  
Duo looked up and sniffled"Really?" "Yeah, I guess. I dunno. I might have"  
This sent our hero into another round of tears and cries. Wufei ran over to Duo and kneeled in front of him. "Come on now! Be a man!" "How can I be a man if im dressed like this!!" "Well, I dunno. Just....stop crying. It's alright! I'm not gonna kill you know! You're still unjust, but at least you won't die."  
Duo snorted up a little trail of snot that was threatening to crawl down to his lightly lipsticked lips. He stared at Wufei. During the fight part of his hair had fallen down from his pony tail. Wufei looked really attractive. Duo flushed and looked down at the embroidered D and M on the pockets of his apron. Then he began crying once again.  
"NOW what's wrong!?" Wufei muttered. "I'm only three inches tall!!!" Duo replied. "WHAT'S WRONG WITH BEING THREE INCHES TALL!?" roared Wufei, sending Duo into more intense crying. "Okay okay I'm sorry I shouted. Here I know how you can grow back to your normal size." "Really? You'll help me?"weeped Duo. "Yes I will. Except, I can only tell you in riddle." "Why?" "Because those are the rules." "Screw the rules just tell me!" "HAVE YOU NO HONOR!!?" Duo once again resumed his crying. "AAH! I'm sorry I'm sorry. Okay. One side will make you grown larger. And the other side will make you grow smaller!" He hinted towards the mushroom as he spoke.   
Duo looked at the mushroom then at Wufei. Then at the mushroom. Then at Wufei. Then he got it. "OOOOOOHHHH I GET IT!" Wufei grinned at him. Something Duo didn't see too often. He flushed and got up away from Wufei. He pointed at one side of the mushroom, looking back at Wufei for confirmation. Wufei nodded. Duo pulled off a peice, then walked to the other side and ripped off another peice.  
"Which side?" "I can't tell you...AND DONT CRY OVER IT!" "I WASN'T GOING TO CRY OVER IT! I'll figure it out. You just watch." He said as he stuck out his tongue at Wufei. He was about to put part of the mushroom into his mouth as he looked at Wufei again.  
Wufei was taking off his clothes. He had his shirt off because he was sweating. The sweat glistened as the sun shone onto his bronze back. He also took down his hair so he could retie the hairtie. He ran his hand back through his hair and glanced out of the corner of his eye at Duo.   
"What? What're you staring at?" Duo shook his head remembering that he really shouldn't jump the bones of Wufei. Or should he. He popped the mushroom into his mouth. Being sure that when he grew he didn't step on Wufei.   
Duo whacked his head into a couple of tree branches. Suddenly, he was attacked by a pidgeon. A mother pidgeon protecting her eggs. Quickly, Duo ate the other side of the mushroom and shrunk back to Wufei's size again.  
Wufei now was just sitting and laughing. Duo pouted and gave him a Heero Yuy trademark glare. Duo ripped two more peice of the mushroom off. This time only nibbling the side that made him grow. Inch by inch nibble by nibble he grew until he was about nine inches high. Quite satisfied with this height he went on down the road. Glad to be away from Wufei for fear his caterpillar friend wouldn't have his pants on for very long.  
Duo found a road that led him to another house. Slightly bigger than the White rabbits house. Outside it stood a footman. Duo walked up to the house and had decided to go in.  
  
~~~~~~Next Chapter: Pig and Pepper  
Whee!!! I think Wufei and Duo are a great couple!  
Wufei;DAMN WOMAN! Are you insinuating something!?  
Yes...yes I am! Now get to having sweet lovings with Duo  
Duo:okay thats it I'm going on strike  
WAIT! you can't! The story isnt finished yet! Review me! maybe Duo will come back!


	6. Pig and Pepper

Duo in:Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 6:Pig and Pepper  
  
Okay, this chapter gets REAALLLYY silly, and really stupid. Here I am, plotting the story out in my head as I write it and I still don't know how I'm gonna go about this. But I promise you it will TRY to be funny!  
Wufei:You know you talk too much. If you tell them you're a horrible writer they'll believe it.  
*cries* oh shut up Wufei....  
  


Duo knocked on the door of the house. "That won't do any good, kiddo" Duo looked at the footman, who looked like Otto, but in 17th century formal wear. Duo, who was getting kind of pissy over the events of the day, put his hands on his hips and raised an eyebrow at Otto. He began to tap his foot.  
Leaning over as he spoke,"Well, why WON'T it do any good to knock on the door?!" "Two reason's chap. One, I'm on this side of the door. So letting you _in _would be virtually impossible. Two, they're making so much noise in there no one could hear you even if you shot down the door with a cannon."  
He was right. The people inside the house were shouting, screaming, sneezing, and smashing things. It sounded like World War 8 in there.  
Duo let his hands drop to his sides and tilted his head. "Well then, how do I get inside?"  
Otto rolled his head to the side and then to the other side. He stretched his legs out from under the chair in front of him and stared at the sky. "Well, I supposed if you were inside, I could let you out....or..."  
"Or I could just use the doorknob and walk on in." Duo replied as Otto rolled on with his ideas of how to get into the house. Duo shook his head and just walked into the house.  
A plate wizzed by his face and smashed on the side of the door, nearly cutting his cheek with shattered glass. Instinctively, Duo ducked as low to the floor as he could go. He crawled on the floor to safety behind a table. He crawled face on into someone who isn't fond of being run into.  
Heero pushed Duo's face away from his and sat back on his heels. Duo was spellbound. Heero had cat ears. And not just cat ears. His green tanktop and spandex shorts were gone. Replaced with a purple and blue striped fur unitard cat suit, with a live tail jetting out from his spine. His shoes were purple and blue stried slippers with a bell and a bow on the front. A bigger bell and bow at his neck like a bow tie. This Heero was absolutely frightening.  
Frightening because of one thing. This Heero was grinning a huge evil grin, baring long fangs on either side of his mouth. Duo began to crawl backwards away from the cat, when he was stepped on by a big dancing woman.  
Or so he thought it was a big dancing woman. Duo rubbed his hand as he looked up at the culprit. He stood up and screamed with fright at what he saw.  
Treize wearing a long ballgown with a low cut chest stood before him, swinging Mariemeia around by the bottom of a baby's sleeping gown. Singing all the while. "Tu....Treize?" Duo muttered.  
Suddenly,Treize was hit in the back by two plates and a bowl that shattered on impact. Duo covered his face with his arms so as not to get cut in the eyes. Treize went on unphased by the attack continuing to sing and swing. Mariemeia was crying and sneezing her heart out.   
Duo peeped up over the table to see who was throwing the dishes. It was a woman. He could tell by the form of the body. He couldn't tell who it was though. She had her back turned to him and was wearing a bonnet on her head, a cooks bonnet so the hair doesnt get in the food. She was screaming all the while "MORE PEPPER!! MOOOOOOOOREEEEE PEPPPPPEEEEEERRRRR!!!!!" as she dumped box after box of pepper into a cauldron of what Duo could only guess was soup.  
She finally turned around to throw more dishes at Treize. She was Une. Wearing an apron and her glasses still on. The scary german woman she was.   
Duo stood up and looked over the entire situation of the room. The grinning Heero-cat, the singing, dancing CROSSDRESSING, Treize, the crying Mariemeia, the screaming and dangerous Une. He turned right around and headed for the door. "This is the stupidest house I've ever been at."  
Duo's hand barely grazed the knob as he was suddenly tackled by Treize. Sure the guy was sexy as all hell but this was not at all what Duo wanted. Treize was wiggling on Duo's back "STAAAAY A MINUTE AAAND CHAAAAAT" he sang into Duo's ear.   
Duo really didn't have much of a choice. He waited for Treize to get off of him and then he stood up and faced Treize. Treize had stopped dancing and was now sitting in a rocking chair cradling the still crying and sneezing Mariemeia. Heero had now lept onto the table and was curling around a ball of yarn. Duo noted how incredibly CUTE Heero looked while he was doing this. He then turned back to Treize.   
"Treiz-" "DUCHESS! You shall call me Duchess!" "Oh....kaaay....Duchess, why does your Heero-cat grin?" "What are you thick? It's a Cheshire-Heero. They always grin. ALL cats grin. You stupid boy." Duo wanted to mutter under his breath a nice F.U. but he decided against it. "Well, why is Mariemeia crying so much?" "Because I beat him when he sneezes." "Thats horribly wrong but isn't Mariemeia a GIRL?" "Is it?" Treize looked under the baby gown."Well so it is, well here you take her then."   
Treize threw the baby Mariemeia at Duo who almost dropped her. "But...but..." Duo sputtered, realizing it was hopeless to get Treize attention now. Treize had gotten up from the chair and had grabbed Une by the hands and was dancing around like an idiot. Une had the pepper shaker in her mouth and had her eyes closed with happiness as she danced with Treize.  
Duo walked out of the house carrying Mariemeia in his arms. "That was dangerous being in there. You should thank me kid for getting you out of there. Hey, hey kid, stop crying like that. You sound like a stuck pig!" Duo pulled the cloth from out of the childs face only to find out, IT WAS A PIG!   
Shinigami was actually a little frightened of pigs so he dropped the pig on the ground and jumped away from it as it ran off into the woods. He began to walk a little into the woods again.  
He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt something round and furry graze his cheek. He squealed and looked up. Cheshire-Heero was lying down on a tree branch, lazily batting a leaf, grinning all the while. He looked down from his perch at Duo. Flipping over to face him while still ying on the branch, he grinned even bigger. Showing off those fangs.  
Duo stood there a second looking at Heero, then began to talk to him. "Um, Heero-kun, you're always a smart one. Do you know which way I should go from here?"  
Heero purred and flipped his tail side to side then spoke, "Where'd ya like to go?" "Well, I don't really know where." Cheshire-Heero stopped purring but continued grinning, "Then it doesn't really matter which way you go...Sugar"winked Heero. Duo thought he was imagining things, he rubbed his eyes a little and continued. "Well, I'd really like to get somewhere." "Oh that'll happen no matter which way you take." "Okay okay, Lemme ask a better question. Who's interesting around here that I can visit?" Heero purred and sat up on his branch. He leaned over a little at Duo.   
"Well," he stated as he pointed right "That direction will take you to a hatter, and in that direction,"he pointed left this time" lives a March Hare. It really doesn't matter which way you go though. They're both mad." "Mad?" "Loony. Nuts, Bonkers. Not all there. Psycho. Insane." "I get it. I don't wanna go around crazy people though!" "Oh well you're screwed there cutey. We're all mad here. I'm mad You're mad. All of us." "IM NOT MAD!" "'Course you are. Why else would you be here then?" "Oh shut up..."pouted Duo as he crossed his arms in front of his chest yet again.  
Heero began crawling down the trunk of the tree, completely interested in Duo's skirt. Duo watched him the whole while. But for some reason he didn't stop him when Heero reached for the hem of the skirt. He should have though. Considering, Heero took a lovely peek at Duo's skivvies.  
Duo shreiked and yelled "SHINIGAMI KICK!" and booted Heero into the stratosphere. "God! Why is everyone here trying to fuck me or kill me!?" "That's cause you're so sexy."   
Duo shreiked again and turned to face Cheshire-Heero. "If you go to the Mad Hatter's you're sure to see the March Hare anyway. They're always together having a tea party." "Fine, I'll just go there then." "Brilliant." Heero then leaped up back to the branch he had previously sat on. He pulled out a detination device that Duo had seen Heero use many times before.  
"Sayonara" and with a click Heero EXPLODED! Duo was flailing his arms about screaming "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!" Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Duo was crying inwardly as he turned his head ever so slowly to the person behind him.   
"By the bye, what happened to the kid you had earlier?" Cheshire-Heero purred. "It turned into a pig." squeaked out Duo. "Ah Okay." Heero pulled out the detination device again and exploded.   
Duo fell to his knees and was shivering. "This place is scary" he cried and then screamed as Heero's head popped down in front of Duo's face. Cheshire-Heero was levitating upside-down. "Hey, did you say pig or fig?" "F.....Fig" "Thats what I thought you said." And once again he pulled out the detination device and exploded.  
Duo got up and decided he'd had quite enough of his nerves being smashed to bits. So he ran towards the right to see the Mad Hatter. He couldn't handle another explosion.  
When he got to the Mad Hatter's place he realized they were a few feet bigger than he was. Duo nibbled on some of the mushroom he had in his pocket and grew to about two feet. Then he walked past the gate and into the yard where the party was at.  
  
~~~~Next Chapter: The Mad Tea Party  
Duo:What the hell was that about!? I'm not scared of Heero  
Heero:*loom*  
Duo:Er I mean....WOW! HEERO WAS SO COOL! heh...heh....  
Heero:....  
Wow...such a conversationalist you are Heero. Pleeease Reeeeeviiieeww meee!!  
By the way I happen to think Treize is superbadass. I feel bad for making him the duchess*tears*


	7. A Mad Tea Party

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 7: A Mad Tea Party  
  
Whee! Are you enjoying this? I hope so. Okay the three at the table, well, that basically came from me running out of characters having used my favorites as other characters in this story. But it works out Really! I promise! Don't leave me! *cries*  
Quatre:You cry way too much.  
You're meaner than you look.  
  


  
Duo walked in through the gate and shut it behind him. He looked at the people sitting at the table. The extremely long table covered with hundreds of different types of tea sets and cakes and drinks. The table was under a tree in front of a house, and the March Hare and the Hatter were having a heated conversation as they rested their elbows on the Dormouse who sat between them. The Dormouse was fast asleep, so she must not have minded.  
Duo went over to the table and put his hand on the back of one of the chairs, meaning to sit down. The Hare and the Hatter screamed at him, "NO ROOM!" and the chairs pulled themselves towards the table. Unfortunately, slammed the three into the table causing them to wiggle a bit so they could get themselves unstuck frombetween the chair and the table.  
Duo looked over the characters. They were oddly familiar. Then the proverbial light bulb went on above his head. He struck a pose as he pointed at the March Hare.  
"HEeeeeeEEEeeY!!!! Aren't you......YES YOU ARE!!! You're Miri-chan! ZEEECHSYPOOOOO!!!"  
The hare stared blankly back at him. He tilted his head. Duo pulled his pointed hand back a little and then gave a squeaky response of "A..aren't you?"  
For a reply the March Hare leaped across the table, tackles Duo pinning him to the ground. He had Duo's legs spread in a second and ran his hand up to the vertex. Duo was screaming. "WHa Wha Wha WHAAAAT!!! STOPP!!! YAAAA!!!"  
The Mad Hatter tilted over the wriggling body's on the ground. "Oi...Calm down Mr Hare....I SAID CALM DOWN!" She picked up a teapot from the table and smashed it over Zechs-hare's head. He crawled back under the table and retook his seat at the table next to Noin-dormouse.  
Dorothy, The Mad Hatter, put a hand on Duo's shoulder. "Sorry about that," then she threw Duo into the chair. "TAKE A SEAT!!!" The frightened Shinigami sat down at the table.  
Zechs was crawling over the table again, arching his back and moaning, "MMM Sekkushiiii" Dorothy took a moment to cackle, then pushed Zechs back into his chair.  
Duo was thinking to himself,'What in the hell!!' as he looked over the trio. Zechs had a child-like bunny costume on, with a big pink bow at his neck and a pink bow tied to one of his ears. His hair fell back through a hole in the cap of the costume, and he had a cotton tail at his rear. Noin had mouse ears on, a mouse tail, a sleeveless shirt that read "DOR" and tennis shoes. She seemed to be missing pants so Duo got a good look at her underroos. Dorothy had a 10/6 top hat on, a freestanding collar with a bowtie, a double breasted jacket that went over a VERY busty corset and a tight checkered mini-skirt, and shoes with spats.  
Suddenly, Dorothy, who had taken her seat again, shouted,"HOW IS GUNDAM LIKE A WRITING DESK!?" "Riddles? Oh, I'm pretty good at those, hmm, I think I can figure that out." "  
"So you're saying you can figure it out?"   
"I just said I could didn't I?"  
"No you said 'I think I can figure that out' not 'I could didn't I?'"  
"I said both of that just not in the same sentence!"  
"Well you're very stupid then!"  
"What!?"  
"What what?"  
"What do you mean I'm very stupid!?"  
"I like cheesecake"  
"You're avoiding the question!"  
"There was a question?"  
Before Duo could scream a reply, Zechs had woken up Dormouse. "Twinkle....Twinkle....twinkle...twin" She fell back asleep before Zechs got to say anything to her. So he picked her up and shoved her nose into some jam. She stayed asleep but now she had jam on her nose. This made Duo screech out a giggle. Dorothy turned to him. "What's so funny?"  
"Well, she has jam on her nose! That's amusing!" "Not as amusing as THIS!!"  
With that Dorothy grabbed Zechs and they jumped onto the table. They both began singing" HER NAME WAS LOLA! SHE WAS A SHOWGIRL! With yellow FEATHERS IN HER HAIR and a dress cut down to there!"  
"**_NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!_**" Duo screamed with all his might. The two stood on the table staring at him. "What was wrong with Copacabana?"Zechs asked. "We LIKE Copacabana." Dorothy chimed in. Both of them nodding their head in unison.   
"Well I don't!" Duo retorted,"I think Bary Manalow is CREEPY!"  
"Well FINE!" and the two sat down.  
Dorothy looked around at the table, then down at her tea tray."Well, I'd like a new cup but I'm not sure if the other chaps are willing to move." "They DO seem to like where they're sitting" replied Zechs. "Either way, its time for a new cup." She stood up and shouted. "SEAT CHAAAANGE!!!"  
She grabbed Duo by the arm and yanked him down three seats, as Zechs picked up Noin and moved her down three seats. They sat back down in the order they were only three seats down.  
"There thats better, I say, boy, do you know what day it is?" Dorothy said as she pulled a watch from between her breasts. It made a little popping sound. Like a cork coming from a wine bottle. Duo was mesmerized by this but answered, "Um I think its the 26th." "Two days wrong!" she muttered as she smashed the watch into the back of Zechs head. "I told you butter wouldn't work on the works of the watch! I distinctly told you MARMALADE!"   
"But...it was the BEST butter" moaned Zechs as he ran a hand up and down his thigh, arching his back again. "I've used it many times with the Duchess, mmmm"  
"Well, you see thats the problem! A watch shouldn't be treated in such a way like that! You damn horny rabbit!"  
"But it was the best butter," he ran his hand through his hair picking out the watch and setting it on a tray of cookies.  
"Thats a funky watch, it tells the day of the month but not the time of the day. Whats the point?"  
"Well, do YOU have a watch Mr Tooty Footy pants!?" She sneered.  
"No, I ..I don't....Deathscythe usually keeps the time for me."  
"I'll give you the time," purred Zechs"any time" he finished the sentence as he licked his lips and ran his hands across his chest.  
"Eh, I might have to pass..."  
"Pass? Pass? Are you playing Croquet with the Queen today?" Dorothy came nose to nose with Duo and stared him down into a slouching position in his chair.  
"I didn't know the Queen was having a Croquet match today.....I don't really like Croquet...I'm more a fan of baseball...." Duo shakily replied.  
"Iiiiiiii seeeeeeeeeeeeeee," Dorothy said this as she rolled herself down the table knocking over trays, pots, and cups. She rolled herself right off the end of the table many yards from where Duo, Zechs and Noin sat, and disappeared.  
The Hare turned to the Dormouse and knocked on her head as if knocking on a Door. Thats a horrible pun. Noin finally woke up enough to sit up straight in her chair.  
"Did we move again? Who are you? Why are you touching my thigh?" She asked herself, then Duo, then Zechs who was running a hand along her thigh. He then picked her up and sat her on his lap.   
Rubbing his cheek against hers he asked, "Do tell us a story Mousey-chaaannn"  
She cooed and nodded her head. "Once upon a time, there were five boys. And they all fought for peace using their giant robots. And their names were Susan Lucci, Donald Trump, Francis Fortcopula, Jackie Chan, and lastly Quinten Tarentino. The names of their giant robots were called Famjams."  
"Aren't they called Gundams?"  
"What's a Gundam?" shouted Dorothy who was now back into her seat, causing Duo to jump with fright.  
"Don't interrupt the both of you" squeaked Noin.  
"I'm sorry. Please go on." Duo loved this story already. He thought it was ridiculous that she was telling the Flyboys story and doing it wrong.  
"Well, the four boys, Susan, Donald, Francis, Jackie and Quinten all were fighting against a power called Zoo."  
"Thats five boys" peeped in Duo.  
"Okay, thats it. I'm done. No more story for Mr. I'mgonnaInterrupteveryfiveminutes!!!" Shouted Noin as she fell back asleep on the table, on top of a tray of muffins.  
"Oh damn. And she was so warm on my lap. It was calming me down....but now I'm arroused again." Cooed Zechs as he crawled over the table to get to Duo.   
Duo was backing up his chair, ready to run. Then Dorothy intercepted Zech's pounce as they landed on Noin in a tumble of legs hair and tails.  
Duo was shocked as he watched the play that was going on the table. He covered his eyes. Father Maxwell would beat him with a stick if he ever mentioned what he saaw here. He backed up and walked out the gate. Once outside the gate he turned and ran back into the forrest. Probably to yell at the Cheshire-Heero for sending him here.  
While he walked through the forrest he noticed one of the trees had a door on it. He opened the door and was back in the room with the glass table. A bottle of coke on the table, next to the key.  
"I think I'll do better this time." He grabbed the key and put in it his pocket then took a swig from the coke. This time he managed to be the right size. He took the key from his pocket and unlocked the door.  
He had finally made it into the beautiful garden. He threw up his arms and shouted, "YATTAAAA!!!"  
  
~~~~Next Chapter: The Queen's Croquet Game  
Duo:Ze...Zechs was horny.....kowai....  
well he was a rabbit Duo dear  
Quatre: Whats that supposed to mean!?  
It means you shut up! I've had enough of you yelling at me!  
Quatre:*cries*  
Oh dammit, review me pleeease before all the boys go on strike!  



	8. The Queen's Croquet Ground

Duo in:Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 8: The Queen's Croquet Ground  
  
Yee, how many times have I given the wrong title in the previous chapters!? Why don't I ever pay attention to what I type!? Can I be THAT brainless!?  
Duo:PLEASE let me answer that!!!  
No...get back to work!!  
  


Duo had finally made it into the garden. He was ever so happy. The garden was heart shaped with red roses everywhere. Except right at the opening of the garden. Right near where Duo was standing, there was a tall rose tree. It was different from the rest of the roses which were red, because this tree was covered in white roses.  
Around the white tree were three men, who wore Mariemeia's soldier uniforms underneath a card shaped tunic. There was a 2 and a 7 and a 5. They all had paint brushes in their hands and a big paint bucket on the ground. The trio was frantically running around the tree painting the roses.  
The cards were all arguing with each other, yelling at one another not to spill paint, at who hit who's elbow to make the paint splash onto such and such's card suit, about who was sleeping with who's lover, blahblahblah. Duo didn't really care what they were yelling about. He was concerned for the flowers. It's unhealthy for flowers to get paint on them.   
So he got a little nearer to the painters and asked, "Um, 'scuse me. But why on earth are you painting those roses?"  
"Oh well ya see, the Queen of Hearts loves roses. But she'll only except red ones in her garden. And see, when we bought the rose bushes back when they was just but seeds, seven here accidentally put a white rose bush pack into the pile of red packs we had. Now if the Queen sees these white roses at the front of her garden, she's sure to cut off our heads!" rattled on Two.  
Seven wanted to defend himself,"I wouldn't have done it neither if Five hadn't been distracting me by falling over the pansies!"  
Five retorted,"I never fell over no pansies you wanker!" "Oh yes you did you sunova"  
"OKAY! GOD! I don't care that much...Sheesh"Duo screamed before the cards could go on yelling at each other. Yet they did anyway. Which really was unfortunate because they never got to finish painting the roses red.  
Mainly, because after Duo shouted the royal music played and in marched the royal court into the garden. First came the deck of cards, the club suits, the spades, then the diamonds, then the royal family A-10, The Knave who was Pargan, The King who was old man Peacecraft, and then the Queen.   
The Queen was dressed exactly like the card picture of the Queen of Hearts, but Duo knew instantly who she was. One doesn't look on the face of Satan and forget it easily.  
Thats right, it was. Relena.  
He looked back at the painters, they were lying face down on the ground. Duo sure as hell wasn't going to bow to Relena much less get down on the ground and mess up his pretty dress. Duo thought about what he just thought. He really needed to get the dress off him. He was getting too familiar with it. Even though he DID look stunning in it.  
Relena didn't take long to notice the white roses. She stormed over to the tree and screamed. "WHO'S BEEN PAINTING MY ROSES RED!?" She looked down at the three cards who were covered in red paint. Then suprisingly enough she screamed LOUDER than she had earlier,"**_OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!!!!!_**"  
Duo tried to cover his ears as they went ringing from the shouting. No doubt about it. This Relena was MORE annoying, even though he thought it impossible, than the one he had known.  
Relena then turned her fury at Duo."And WHO are YOU! Are you with them!?"  
Duo put his hands on his hips and stared down at Relena."Pishaw, I'm Duo Maxwell, and I don't even know these lamewads. As if I cared at all about how you like your roses."  
The Queen's face turned redder than her gown as she shouted,"OOOOFFF WIIITH HIIIIS HEEAAAAAAAAAAAADD!!!!!!!" The King put his hand on her shoulder and said,"Now now, remember what I told you about controlling your temper?" "Yes papa." "He is only a kid." "Yes papa." "Even if he is clueless as to who you are you don't need to chop off his head just yet." "Shut up papa." "Okay."  
Then suddenly, as if a whole other persona took the Queen, she grinned and said. "Do you play croquet?" "No not really. But I wouldn't mind watching." "Well, then you may watch. JUST STAY OUTTA THE WAY!" And with that she marched off to play.   
Using a flamingo as a club and a hedgehog as a ball, everyone cheated their way through the game. No one cheated more than the Queen though. Everytime she hit a ball she declared she got ten hundred THOUSAND points. If someone contradicted her, she cut off their head.  
Duo was getting bored, who played croquet now a days anyway? Then he felt a hand run up the back of his thigh and tug at his bloomers. He yelped as loud as he could, but covered his mouth before the Queen suspected he was contradicting her score.  
He whirled around to be face to face with Quatre-bunny. This time Quatre had on a spandex red suit with big fluffy red sleeves, like Duo's sleeves, and a Card Tunic over the suit, with red running shoes. Duo hiked up his skirt and ran as fast as he could hiding behind a rose bush.  
"How're you getting along?" a voice loomed over Duo's head. He shakily looked up to see Cheshire-Heero's head, yeah just his head, floating in the air over him, grinning all the while.   
Duo squeaked then said, "Well, I dunno, I think I'm doing okay. I just wish Quatre-bunny wasn't so horny. It's kinda scary."  
"And how do you like the Queen?"  
"She's a pain in the ass. She's so.." Duo stopped as he saw Relena peaking her head around the corner of the bush eavesdropping, so he continued with,"so most likely to win that its impossible for anyone to even attempt to play. They might as well give up."  
Cheshire-Heero chuckled. That caught Relena's attention. She stood up and put her hands next to her mouth and hollered."HEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOO"  
Heero's ears fell back towards his skull and he winced. His arm appeared and pointed right down at Relena's forhead. And he flicked her. Right in the head. Sending her sailing across the courtyard.  
Duo gasped and put his hands to his mouth. Everyone in the yard was silenced. The Queen had landed face down in the ground, her ass in the air, her dress falling right around her back and shoulders. Exposed was her ass and legs, in the ready position. Showing off her light pink panties with a kitty face on the back.  
She pulled her face off of the ground and roared, starting low then raising to a scream. "Someone...is...going...to..**_DIE!!!!!!!!_**"  
Everyone in the courtyard pointed at the floating Heero head. Even Duo pointed.  
Relena stood up, tore off her crown,as the firey gates of hell shown in here eyes. She grinded her teath as she pulled her dress down to its proper positon and marched over to the floating head. "EXECUTIONEER!!!!!!! COME HERE!!"  
An ace of spades ran up to Relena, giving her a very, very formal bow. "Yes, Your Magesty! At y'service!"  
"Cut off his head." The ace stared at Heero for a bit who was grinning down at the commotion. "Well, Y'Magesty I would, but I'm afraid I can't." "WELL WHY NOT!?" "Because they ain't no body for me to cu'off from."  
Relena screamed an incoheirent scream, then turned to Duo."YOU! Do you know who's cat this is!?" "Eh, it's the duchess."  
Quatre-bunny jumped onto the back of Duo and started dry humping him. Duo wriggled around trying to get him off. Relena slapped Quatre-bunny who stuck out his tongue at her. "Rabbit! What happened to the Duchess?"  
Quatre-bunny gave a cheeky smile,"You sentenced him to death, remember? She slapped you on both of your ears!" Then the rabbit returned to sexually molesting Duo.  
Relena whirled around, "CAAAAALL THE DUCHESS!! REMOVE HIS SENTENCE AND TELL HIM TO GET HIS BIG CROSS DRESSING ASS OUT HERE!!!!"  
Within, minutes the Duchess was out in the courtyard, but by time he made it to where Heero was, the cat was gone. Having exploded again.  
  
~~~ Next Chapter!The Mock Turtle's Story  
Duo:Relena is scary in this  
Heero:She's scary all the time  
Relena:HEEEROOOOOOO!!!  
Heero:*GONE*  
Duo:Heero? Heero? HEY DONT LEAVE ME OUT HERE ALONE WITH HER!!  
Dun DUn dunnnnnn. Have we seen the last of our Queen? no...But next chapter we find Trowa!!! Revieeewwww meee pleeease? See I say please. I'm a good kid.  
Quatre:Then why do you write almost everyone trying to screw Duo?  
Duo:Can they help it?


	9. The Mock Turtle's Story

Duo in:Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 9: The Mock Turtle's Story  
  
Woo, you know writing this is totally distracting me from my work that I need to do. Hahaha I'm such a slacker!!  
Quatre:You're going to fail english.  
Me fail english? Thats unpossible!  
  


Treize gave Duo the biggest hug he'd ever gotten in his life. It was like if Deathscythe wanted to hug him. Only more akward. "OH Snookums I'm so glad to see you! Lets go for a stroll, the Queen seems occupied with executing people."  
Duo didn't argue, but he did struggle slightly ad Treize slid his arm around Duo's thin waist and pulled him close to his side. They began to walk down a nice little path in the garden.   
Treize began to babble"I like horseys, and little monkeys, and pretty dresses, and slippers with fluffy balls, and cheese, and soda, and cartoons and.."  
"Eh, Duchess, what's the point of you telling me this?" "Why, so you can know what to buy me for my birthday!"  
"I don't even know when your birthday is!"  
"Then I'm afraid you'll have to know or I'll box your ears"  
"Thats a bit unfair...."  
"And the moral of that is Life is Unfair!"  
"Moral?"  
Duo waited for a response, but he didn't get one. Treize had silenced himself and began to shake, slipping his hand off of Duo's hip. Duo looked at what was frightening Treize.   
In front of them stood the Queen of Hearts, her arms crossed over her chest, her hair down from the incident earlier. Hell's fury in her eyes. She glared at the Duchess.   
"Either your head or you will be off....NOW!!!"  
She screamed so loud Treize was blown back by the power of her yell. Kinda like that guy in X-men. Duo managed to keep himself grounded, but nearly jumped out of the courtyard when Relena took a place next to him.   
"You will walk with ME now....GOT IT!?" "Ha..hai..."  
As they walked the Queen pointed to random people who she found to be flawed and shouted "OFF WITH HIS HEAD" or "OFF WITH HER HEAD!". Then she grinned innocently and turned to Duo.  
"Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?"  
"Whats a Mock Turtle?"  
"It's what they make Mock Turtle Soup out of."  
"I've never seen nor heard of a Mock Turtle"  
"Well, come on then. I'll show you."  
They walked off towards a cliff leaving the King in the garden to run around pardoning the people who the Queen had said would be killed. Once reaching the cliff they came across a character that was quite odd.  
He stood with his back facing them. He had long gold wings and a lion's tail. He had pants on that one leg were full length and the other was shorts. He had a wind breaker jacket of black and white with white feathers around the collar. He had two thin cat ears, with one of the ears peirced. There were two bracelets on the corner's of the wings.  
Duo stared at this creature. He looked to Relena to ask her what this guy was. But she was gone. She ran off giggling to herself. The figure turned around.  
Trowa's face glared at Duo. Duo had never had this glare placed on him, but he had seen Trowa give this look to those who soon died. Duo was scared shitless.  
Trowa-gryphon flipped his hands as Kunai slid through his fingers. He pulled his arms up, while spreading his wings at the same time, jumped and threw the kunai at Duo.  
Duo just barely dodged the kunai. He ran across the ground. An endless supply of kunai was showered at Duo, who was great at avoiding them. But how long could he keep this up. This scorched earth was not easy to avoid. Duo decided to take decisive action.  
He crouched down, gathering enough power, then leaped up at Trowa who was refreshing his kunai in his hands. Duo grabbed Trowa by the tail and swung him towards the ground. As Trowa plummeted, Duo dropped himself down at him. Giving him a swift kick in the chest.  
Trowa hit the ground, but flipped himself up avoiding another kick from Duo. When Shinigami hit the ground he pounced at Trowa. Missing him as the Gryphon took flight again.  
Duo picked up three kunai from the ground and threw them at Trowa. Trowa missed the first two but the third cut right through the wing. He fell to the ground, faster than when Duo had threw him.  
He lay on the ground clutching his wing, and silently writhing in pain. Duo ran over, the sweet heart he is, and asked."Are you okay!?"   
"I'll live...." Trowa sat up, his feathers grazing the ground. He looked up at Duo. Duo could now see that Trowa looked like a Goth rocker. He wanted to laugh.  
"Do you have anything I can use as a bandage?" "'Fraid I don't." "'salright" Trowa groaned as he pulled the kunai from his wing. Then ripping off part of his undershirt he tied a bandage around the wound.  
"Do, you were sent here to see the Mock Turtle weren'y you?"  
"Yes! I was! How'd you know?"  
"The Queen is always bringing people here for me to kill. If I don't kill them I take them to see the Mock Turtle."  
"How many have seen it."  
"You."  
"Just me?"  
"Yes."  
"Wow"  
"...."  
"Shall we go then?"  
"Fine."  
Trowa got up and stood behind Duo. He slid his arms under Duo's arms and pulled him against his body. Duo gasped a little. Then he began to scream. Because within seconds Trowa-gryphon had soared hundreds of feet into the sky.   
Flying over the ocean prooved terrifying for our hero. Inside a Gundam no problem, but in the arms of some monster version of someone he knew? Not so much fun. Plus, his arms were starting to ache.  
Finally, the two reached a desolate island. Well desolate considering it was only two miles from the mainland. "What the hell were we flying so long for!?"  
"I fly high."  
"Idiot."  
And with that retort, Trowa dropped Duo maybe ten feet from the ground. Duo hit the ground with a mighty THUD. The boy whined as Trowa landed gracefully on the ground next to him. He gave Duo his hand so the poor boy could get up. Then Duo followed Trowa to a cove where a turtle shell was lying in the middle of a pile of rocks.  
Trowa knocked on the shell. Out came Catherine, who had cow ears, and a cow tail, and lacked shoes. And clothes for that matter but she had a turtle shell on. The undershell was formed around her body so you could see her figure. The disturbing thing about her is she had tears running down her face but she wasn't making a sound.  
"What is it Brother?" "This guy here wants to know you history." "Wait! No I don't! I never said that! I just said I didn't know what a Mock Turtle was!!"  
"Well, I shall tell him my history,""but I don""It all began when we were born, me and Gryphon, hatched from eggs. He a magnificent Gryphon and I a lowly mock turtle." "I still don't kn""And so we went to school in the sea together, we learned Capitalism, Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, Pornification, Californication, Fornication, Tap dance, and Chemical Imbalance."   
"What the hell kinda school teaches that!?"  
"Only the very best, idiot."  
"Well, those classes sound stupid to me!"  
"Thats because you weren't taught reverbiration. We were."  
Duo sat there and pouted at the Mock Turtle. Trowa who was sitting silently for the while decided to say."Tell him about the games"  
  
~~~~Next Chapter The Lobster Quadrille  
Doesn't Trowa sound like a badass?  
Trowa:....  
Duo:I object! He has a way cooler costume than I do!  
Heero:at least you're not wearing a unitard cat suit  
Wufei and Quatre: We LIKE our costumes!  
Hah! so there! Read on! and REVIEW!! por favor?  



	10. The Lobster-Quadrille

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 10:The Lobster-Quadrille  
  
Waah! I know I took a big break from writing this story but it never left my mind! How could I forget about cute little Duo?  
Duo:Just get on with the story or are you stalling for time?  
Shuuuuttuuuup!  
  


Cathrine-turtle took a deep sigh, then looked at Duo sitting next to Trowa-gryphon who was perched on a rock like a gargoyle. Looking at the two of them her voice got choked down with sobs. "It's just like when you have a hunk of bread in your throat" whispered Trowa-grypon. Finally, she managed to speak.  
"Telling from your form you've never lived under the sea for very long."  
"I've never lived under the sea"  
"So, obviously you've never been introduced to a lobster."  
"I once tas....er..No never."  
"Then you have no idea how much fun a Lobster-quadrille is."  
"No, I never have. Is it a dance"  
"Not quite. This version is a game. A dancing game. First you get out the machine." She nodded to Trowa who crawled down off the rock he was perched on, and moved another boulder revealing a dance machine with a big tv screen and a dance pad with four arrows. "Second you get on the machine"  
Duo stepped up onto the dance pad.  
"Third you put in fifty cents"  
"Fifty cents?"  
"Yes, is there a problem"  
"Well I haven't got any money"  
Cathrine-turtle began to cry, but luckily Trowa-grypon hopped up and put in his own fifty cents into the machine. She stopped blubbering and continued.  
"Fourth you pick the song you want"  
Duo chose 'Will You Join the Dance'  
"Fifth, you follow the arrows, as they hit the top row of arrows thats when you step on the respective arrow."  
Well, Duo got about half way into the song when he finally, FAILED. Miserably. And instead of just a "FAILED" screen showing up. The machine exploded. Sending Duo flying into the air, his petty coats flying in all sorts of directions around his face, exposing his bloomers yet again. As he plummeted towards the ground Trowa-grypon caught him in the air. Trowa-grypon flew back to the ground carrying Duo like a damsel. Once firmly on the ground Duo pouted and put his hands on his hips. "Now what the hell kind of game explodes when you lose!?"  
"I didn't know it would do that. I've never lost."  
Duo growled something under his breath.  
Trowa tapped Duo on the shoulder grinning stupidly because he had something supposedly important to tell him.  
"What is it?" Duo bitchily asked.  
"Wanna know about how come whitings have their tails in their mouths?"  
"No I don't"  
"Aww...Really? It's a good story"  
"I don't care. I don't really like fish."  
"Why are your shoes so shiny?"  
"That's changing the subject"  
"But why are they?"  
"Cause they're new and if they get skuffed you go to one of those shoe people you see in malls or outside business buildings and they put blacking on your shoes."  
"We use whitings under the sea"  
"That doesn't make sense. A whiting is a fish."  
"Blackings aren't?"  
"No its goopy shoe polish!"  
"That's terribly depressing."  
Duo was baffled. Trowa was being weirder than usual. Mainly because of the whole 'I enjoy talking' part. Then all of a sudden really, Catherine-turtle began singing. A song about soup. Turtle soup. Duo very much liked this song.  
"That's a beautiful song"  
"Its beooooooooooootiful soooooooup"  
Duo would have laughed at that if he hadn't been knocked over by a great shout from on the mainland. "**THE TRIAL'S BEGINING!!!**"   
"What in the hell was that" But Duo got no reply. Trowa-gryphon just grabbed Duo around the waist and lifted him up in flight back to the main land. The mock-turtle just continued her singing.  
  
~~~~  
Was that short? The chapter in the book is filled with songs and I didn't feel like writing them out.  
Duo:You're so damn lazy  
Shut up.  
REEVIIIEWWW MEEE PLEEEASE  
Duo:Damanding too.  
  



	11. Who Stole the Tarts?

Duo in: Gundam Wonderland  
Chapter 11: Who stole the Tarts?  
  
Aah We're almost through. Just this and the next chapter! But don't worry (if you even cared) I'll be doing Through the Looking Glass next maybe. But only if I get more reviews! This is the infamous TRIAL! Here we go.  
Duo: You're stalling again aren't you.  
SHUT UP!  
  


Queen Relena was sitting up on her throne, with her arms crossed, and a fresh new frown on her face. The King was sitting on his throne that was ever so slightly lower than the Queens. The Knave Pargan was standing before them on a lower level of the court with his hands cuffed.  
The court was filled with all different creatures and it was completely packed. Duo had to jab a frisky lizard in the gut to keep it from crawling up his skirt.   
Duo was seated next to Trowa-gryphon, who rather than sitting on the seat normally like a human, was perched on his seat like a gargoyle and swapping the people behind him with his lion tail.  
Next to the Queen, doing a sexy seductive dance in Duo's direction, was Quatre-Bunny. He was using a scroll as a sexy fan while danced around a trumpet. He was actually getting quite a crowd watching him and cheering him on. So he figured, why not strip. However, he was cut short by the Queen's fist pounding down on the top of his head. He pouted and stuck out his tongue, then sat down with his legs hanging over the balcony.  
In the middle of the court was a large table, and on the table was a big tray of tarts, shaped like a cat's head with 'I *heart* Heero' on it. They looked good, but Duo thought that the whole inscription on the tart was kind of stupid. But really at this point he didn't care. He was getting really hungry. He wished the trial would hurry up and get over so they would start handing out the refreshments.  
Duo looked around the courtroom. He'd been in court before, petty theft and the like, but he had never been in a court like this. This seemed like something out of a cartoon.  
He figured out that the King was the judge because he had a long white wig under his crown. And he spotted out the jury box, which was filled with all the Professors. You know, Pro. J, M, Q all the letters of the alphabet. All of them were busy writing down something on the slates they each had.  
"What are they doing?" Duo asked. "They're writing their names down so that they don't forget them."   
"Morons."  
As soon as he said that he noticed that all of the mads were busy writing down 'morons' on their slates.   
Duo looked up at Quatre-bunny and noticed that he was giving him the bedroom eyes. Until the Queen, yet again, slugged him in the head.  
"Herald, read the accusation!" The King demanded.  
"First, you gimmie a kiss!"  
"What!?" The King was taken aback as the juror's quickly wrote down the incident.  
"Come on, pucker up!"  
"How 'bout you pucker up on your trumpet, and get started with the bloody accusation!" The King was getting upset.  
"Oh ho ho! So you like it like that, ne? Alrighty." And Quatre-bunny picked up his trumpet and blew on it three times, then he unrolled his scroll and read aloud-   


_"The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts,  
All on a summer day:  
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts  
And took them quite away!"  
_

When he had finished Quatre did a little curtsey, and blew kisses to all he thought were pretty in the crowd._  
_ "Jury, what's your verdict then?" The King asked the jury.  
"NO! You're stupid! You have to do the TRIAL before the verdict. Idiot king." Quatre-bunny near had a tantrum.  
"Well, what do you suggest we do." The King asked.  
"Well," Quatre-bunny slithered his way over to the King and sat on his lap, running his hands around the King's neck. "We could always-"  
"WHAT DO WE DO FOR THE TRIAL!" The King quickly shouted.  
"HMPH!" The rabbit hopped off of the King's lap and took his place back, "We should call the first witness."  
"Okay, call the first witness" the King echoed.  
Quatre-bunny picked up his trumpet again and gave it a good hard blow. Duo noted to himself 'He's awfully good at that trumpet, it's no wonder though.'  
"FIRST WITNESS" the rabbit shouted.  
Two big card shaped doors opened and in sauntered the Mad Hatter Dorothy, with one hand on her hip and the other hand swirling a tea cup around on her finger while she carried a cookie in her mouth. Her Jessica Rabbit walk was very well liked by EVERYONE. The jurors made sure to write that down.  
She looked up at the King and winked at him. "Beg y'r pardon Magistrate, BUT you called me in the middle of tea. I hadn't quite finished."  
"You SHOULD have finished before you came, when did you start?"  
To this Dorothy put her cookie into her teacup and tapped her cheek with her finger. "Lets see. Lets see." She looked over to the crowd and saw the March Hare Zechs rubbing against a helpless young man in the crowd, while the Dormouse Noin just slept with her head against his shoulder.  
"It was the fourteenth of March, I'm pretty sure." Dorothy took a bite out of her cookie.  
"Moou, it was the fifteenth." Zechs-bunny moaned as he finally went down on the boy he was sitting next to.  
"Sixteenth" added the Dormouse in her sleep.  
"Write that down, eh, but leave out the nasty things that the rabbit is doing in the audience." Said the King to the jury.  
"Hatter, its very rude to have your hat on inside the court, take it off." The King then said to the hatter.  
"'Snot mine, sir."  
"STOLEN!!!"  
"Moron, I keep them to sell. I'm a damn hatter for crimeny's sake." The hatter replied coolly, but became nervous when Relena started staring at her.  
"Well, tell us your evidence and don't be nervous or you'll be executed."  
Of course, this is no way to encourage someone to not be nervous and Dorothy just got more nervous and more nervous. She became so nervous she drank her cookie and ate her teacup.  
Duo, who was watching this all very intently noticed something. He was growing again. He also didn't want to draw attention to himself so he stayed where he was. He accidentally knocked Trowa-gryphon from his perch to which Trowa started quietly yelling at him.  
"Stop hogging up all the room!"  
"I can't help it! I'm growing." Duo replied.  
"You have no right to grow here!"  
"Don't be stupid! You know you're growing too!"  
"Yeah, but I grow normally! Ya freak!"  
"Oh well now that hurt Trowa."  
Relena was still staring at Dorothy with an evil glare that would beat even Heero's. The King was still demanding the evidence.  
"Eh, well, yesee it, eh, started with some tea, and then the March Hare said that-"  
"I DID NOT!" Shouted Zechs-bunny as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, er, paw.  
"YOU DID TOO!"   
"I DENY IT!!"  
"He denies it, don't write that down in the notes" The King said.  
"Well, eh, then the Dormouse said that, eh.." She looked over to the Dormouse to see if she would object like the Hare. There was no response, because Noin-mouse was fast asleep on Duo's apron.  
"Well, what did the dormouse say?" asked the King.  
"Well, I don't know. I forgot. I'd much rather finish my tea." Dorothy said as she was cowering away from Relena's glare.  
"Alright, you may go." The King then turned to Relena,"Really my dear you must cross examine the witnesses instead of staring at them with fury."  
Quatre-bunny was lazily kicking his feet off the side of the balcony, making sexy poses at Trowa-Gryphon who was looking back at Quatre-bunny and blushing like an idiot. Quatre-bunny was too busy being seductive that he missed his cue. To which Relena gave him yet ANOTHER punch to the head.  
He picked up his trumpet and blew it again,"NEXT WITNESS".  
The doors reopened as Dorothy made a quick exit, but nearly fell over from coughing over the next witness.  
Duo already knew who it was because of the screaming, ranting, and pepper everywhere. It was Une the cook from Duchess Treize's house.  
"Give your evidence," said the King.  
"No!"Une replied quickly.  
The King shifted in his seat confused and kind of scared of her. He looked over to the White Rabbit who was climbing down from his balcony and making his way to where Trowa-gryphon was.  
"RABBIT! Where are you going!?" Screamed the King. Quatre-bunny nearly lost his grip and fell from the balcony, but held tight and scrambled his way back.  
"EH, Yes, sir?"  
"What should I do now?"   
"You,um,should cross examine the witness."  
"Ah! Good idea. Um, Cook, what are the tarts made of?"  
"Pepper, mostly!!!"Shouted Une. Why she was shouting no one is really sure.  
"Gundaniam!" shouted Noin, who woke and was now sitting up off of Duo's lap.  
The Queen stood up and screeched,"SILENCE THAT MOUSE! GET HER!! GET HER!! OFF WITH HER HEAD!!" As she screamed the card officers were running around the room chasing Noin down. Noin who was extremly agile was leaping and cavorting over the people in the courthouse. Soon she leaped right out the two doors and to who knows where. During the rucus, Une had gotten pissed and had marched herself out of the courtroom.  
The courtroom took a few minutes to quiet down after the confusion, but when it did the King realized he had no witness.  
"Rabbit!" the King shouted.  
Quatre-bunny, who had in the confusion left his place and had gone to Trowa-gryphon and was busy deflowering him in the corner of the courthouse, screamed and shakily replied"Ah, ah, Yes, sir!?"  
"Call the next witness, and for the love of God GET A ROOM!"  
Quatre-bunny looked at the scroll that was on the floor next to them, "Eh, next witness is, eh, DUO MAXWELL!"  
  
  
~~~~~~ Next Chapter Alice's Evidence  
AAhhh That was borderline boring and borderline just plain smutty!  
Duo:Crimeny, could there BE a gundam fic where quatre and trowa ARENT making it?  
Quatre:Well I for one am glad I'm the one on top! Cause really, Mr. DotDotDot here isnt going to start anything.  
Trowa:.......  
Eh, Please review. 


End file.
